LIFE STYLE

Bisexuality refers to a state of being in which an individual is able to be attracted to members of either sex. It does not require equal attraction to both, gender-blindness, or nonmonogamy, though it can include all of these. An alternative expression that can be used as an identification is pansensuality, which does not require a partner, an 'other' to define itself upon, but rather defines by looking at the individual's sexuality.

What does that mean on our planet? Basically, bisexual people have the capacity for attraction of some degree to members of either sex. They may wish to express this by marrying 'heterosexually', or having a 'homosexual' partner; by being a member of a group marriage, or single; by marching in Pride demonstrations, or keeping their privacy (being 'closeted'); or in any other way that they can live. There are no strict rules.

One common conception about bisexuality is that it is a stage in the coming-out process, on the way to 'pure' homosexuality. Another is that it is an attempt by people who are uncomfortable with their gay or lesbian identity to hang onto heterosexual privilege. Perhaps for some few people, it is one of these, or similar things.

But for most people who identify or live as bisexuals, it is not a stage or a privilege; it is an important part of their (and my) identity. It isn't necessarily a carved-in-stone Kinsey or Klein rating, either. For many bisexuals, sexuality shifts over time. It is certainly not an 'easy way out'... bisexuals are not really welcomed by the 'straight' or gay and lesbian worlds. Both feel a threat to their underlying assumption.

This is the underlying assumption of the 'straight' and gay/lesbian worlds: you can love members of only one sex. You must choose. That choice defines who and what you are.

This attempt to mold human beings to a strict framework that does not fit them naturally is wrong. Love defines itself; it is not for society, law, or religion to decide how and with whom you may fall in love. But society, law, and religion have time and again decided that they know better. Every time this happens, oppression occurs.

Love in my experience occurs between two human beings. I do not claim gender-blindness; gender is a noticeable thing in our (USA) society, and the social cues are sufficient to make a huge difference where nature makes only a small one (no offense intended!). Gender is a part of what I experience in those I love, but it is not the primary determinant of my choices. Other factors which I consider more important, intelligence, empathy, responsibility, and kindness, to name a few, determine the choices I make. Bisexuality allows me the freedom to note gender as a characteristic without depending on it to eliminate potential mates.

A common misconception about bisexuals is that they are incapable of being monogamous. This is not any more true than the same statement made about lesbians, gays, or 'straights'. Bisexuals may be monogamous if they feel that is the best framework for their expression of love.

Monogamy has the social advantage of being accepted almost worldwide as the desirable norm, and this fact may influence many people (of all orientations) to practice monogamy in spite of a personal preference for other arrangements. Polyamory (love for more than one other person) and polyfidelity (committment to more than one other person) are other options which some people choose, in spite of the social stigma attached to having multiple love partners. There are organizations, such as Live the Dream, and publications like Loving More, dedicated to such alternative lovestyles.

What about me? Well, that's rather a personal question, isn't it? If you're curious enough to talk to me, feel free to email me. Thanks for reading!

After getting a few exceptionally wonderful messages from absolutely lovely people, I decided to start a page of emails which I have gotten in response to my bi pages. These are the good ones, the ones that make us glad we're bi and in such good company, with such good friends. Check them out!

I have done a little research and am in the ongoing process of making a list of absolutely the best bi links I can find out there. I've tried to organize them in order of general splendidness, but rest assured, if its here, I think its pretty good (some are, of course, better in some ways than others...).

A wonderful bi site with the resource list I've always wanted (now in a new location)... Bi The Way..., which is officially described as " Information & resources for bisexuals, as well as the Lesbian, Gay & Trans* communities. Includes message boards, chat, personals & pride graphics. Nice job!

BiNet USA has a homepage... and I'm on it! Well, they put a link to me on it anyway... This looks like the beginning of THE Bifolk website of the universe. Activism, people, the BiNet newsletter, quotes from famous bifolk... it is all here.

An information page on becoming a member of Spouse-support , a support list for bisexual people and their straight spouses. I was on this list, with my husband, when I first came out, and it was quite helpful.

The Safer Sex page... if you don't think you need it, go there quick (otherwise, check it out anyway, its stuff we all need to know). Stay alive, protect your lover(s)...

Loving More: an organization focusing on polyamorous and polyfidelitous relationships. Really good info, very supportive and positive. Even if you're a die-hard monogamist, I'd recommend checking it out, just to get an understanding.

Remember how I said I was published? Well, here's another link to the book I'm in - I wrote the bi chapter (all 5 pages of it). While I was tempted to just say "Treat us like human beings," I restrained myself and wrote the same sentiment, but at somewhat more length.

Something cool - Queerview, an interactive magazine for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folk and other human beings. Not only is it free, but you can get published there, too!

Bi-Gear is a bi-owned and run virtual store selling, well, bi gear: shirts (mostly sports-type slogans), shorts, coffee mugs, mousepads, posters and even (gasp) bi teddy bears. The site is pretty graphics-heavy and crashed my dinosaur computer's Netscape but it was fine on another one, so who knows? You could be lucky! The main reason I recommend it, though, is the really really good link list there; if you look at nothing else, please look at that!

I was emailed some time ago by a member of BiCafe, asking me to add it to my page. While I have not checked it out, its self-description as they transmitted it to me is below. Have fun, let me know what you find, but remember 'caveat browser' (let the browser beware).

This extensive web site is an online face-to-face meeting, education, adult entertainment, and international social support center. It aims to be the premiere interactive meeting place for bisexuals. Enjoy private chat, see classy personal photos of potential bifriends, get a personality profile using the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid. Be sure to read the editorial titled "BiCafe Free Memberships." Free to the public items include: adult member editorials, links, essays, articles, and bifriendly places. Future plans include erotic bisexual artist galleries and shopping cart for goodies! Very elegantly designed. A welcome addition to the bi web family!

More suggestions from the online community... I'd appreciate any feedback on these you can give me, as I have not checked them myself.

Bi-curious men: "There's a new group of communities for bi-curious men available through the internet. All sites in the community are non-pornographic G/PG rated, discreet, safe, non-judgemental, and contain chat rooms, discussion groups, information links and special events. There are special sites devoted to guys into sports, science fiction, philosophy, outdoors, business, politics, marriage, closed-loop relationships, and more. Here's a list of the different communities. For more information, contact me."

We invite you to visit the Bisexuality Forum. Its a great place for queer folks...!!!!!! I hope you like the place as much as I do!


	HOMEBOYZ PROD.. -- CUSTOM CD'S ON SALE NOW! \| home AALIYAH REST IN PEACE \| BOSTON NIGHT LIFE \| MP3'S \| HOT TRACKS NEW \| POLICE SCANNER LIVE \| HOT GOSSIP NEW \| STOCK QUOTE \| B-GYRL \| LYRICS \| SEX TIPS \| THE CREW \| LIFE STYLE \| NIGHTLIFE \| PIERCING \| IT'S YOUR (SEX) LIFE \| BLACK PLANET.COM \| YELLOW PAGES \| BLACK-WHITE \| RADIO STATIONS \| SEARCH ENGINE \| B.E.T. \| JAMIN 94.5 FM \| HOMEGIRLZ .COM \| SEX STORIES LIFE STYLE WHAT IS BI-SEXUAL ! Let's start at the beginning... Bisexuality refers to a state of being in which an individual is able to be attracted to members of either sex. It does not require equal attraction to both, gender-blindness, or nonmonogamy, though it can include all of these. An alternative expression that can be used as an identification is pansensuality, which does not require a partner, an 'other' to define itself upon, but rather defines by looking at the individual's sexuality. What does that mean on our planet? Basically, bisexual people have the capacity for attraction of some degree to members of either sex. They may wish to express this by marrying 'heterosexually', or having a 'homosexual' partner; by being a member of a group marriage, or single; by marching in Pride demonstrations, or keeping their privacy (being 'closeted'); or in any other way that they can live. There are no strict rules. Stage? Stable... or fluid? One common conception about bisexuality is that it is a stage in the coming-out process, on the way to 'pure' homosexuality. Another is that it is an attempt by people who are uncomfortable with their gay or lesbian identity to hang onto heterosexual privilege. Perhaps for some few people, it is one of these, or similar things. But for most people who identify or live as bisexuals, it is not a stage or a privilege; it is an important part of their (and my) identity. It isn't necessarily a carved-in-stone Kinsey or Klein rating, either. For many bisexuals, sexuality shifts over time. It is certainly not an 'easy way out'... bisexuals are not really welcomed by the 'straight' or gay and lesbian worlds. Both feel a threat to their underlying assumption. Monosexuality This is the underlying assumption of the 'straight' and gay/lesbian worlds: you can love members of only one sex. You must choose. That choice defines who and what you are. This attempt to mold human beings to a strict framework that does not fit them naturally is wrong. Love defines itself; it is not for society, law, or religion to decide how and with whom you may fall in love. But society, law, and religion have time and again decided that they know better. Every time this happens, oppression occurs. Love in my experience occurs between two human beings. I do not claim gender-blindness; gender is a noticeable thing in our (USA) society, and the social cues are sufficient to make a huge difference where nature makes only a small one (no offense intended!). Gender is a part of what I experience in those I love, but it is not the primary determinant of my choices. Other factors which I consider more important, intelligence, empathy, responsibility, and kindness, to name a few, determine the choices I make. Bisexuality allows me the freedom to note gender as a characteristic without depending on it to eliminate potential mates. What about monogamy? A common misconception about bisexuals is that they are incapable of being monogamous. This is not any more true than the same statement made about lesbians, gays, or 'straights'. Bisexuals may be monogamous if they feel that is the best framework for their expression of love. Monogamy has the social advantage of being accepted almost worldwide as the desirable norm, and this fact may influence many people (of all orientations) to practice monogamy in spite of a personal preference for other arrangements. Polyamory (love for more than one other person) and polyfidelity (committment to more than one other person) are other options which some people choose, in spite of the social stigma attached to having multiple love partners. There are organizations, such as Live the Dream, and publications like Loving More, dedicated to such alternative lovestyles. What about me? Well, that's rather a personal question, isn't it? If you're curious enough to talk to me, feel free to email me. Thanks for reading! Responses After getting a few exceptionally wonderful messages from absolutely lovely people, I decided to start a page of emails which I have gotten in response to my bi pages. These are the good ones, the ones that make us glad we're bi and in such good company, with such good friends. Check them out! Really good Bi links I have done a little research and am in the ongoing process of making a list of absolutely the best bi links I can find out there. I've tried to organize them in order of general splendidness, but rest assured, if its here, I think its pretty good (some are, of course, better in some ways than others...). A wonderful bi site with the resource list I've always wanted (now in a new location)... Bi The Way..., which is officially described as " Information & resources for bisexuals, as well as the Lesbian, Gay & Trans* communities. Includes message boards, chat, personals & pride graphics. Nice job! BiNet USA has a homepage... and I'm on it! Well, they put a link to me on it anyway... This looks like the beginning of THE Bifolk website of the universe. Activism, people, the BiNet newsletter, quotes from famous bifolk... it is all here. The Queer Resource Directory's Bisexual Resource List, an accessible and moderately exhaustive resource. Bisexual Options, the homepage of the illustrious Doctor Fritz Klein... complete with personals pages... check it out! ~julie/wombat.html"Julie's WOMBAT page, Women of Beauty and Temptation; a great, fairly low-volume bi women's list. An information page on becoming a member of Spouse-support , a support list for bisexual people and their straight spouses. I was on this list, with my husband, when I first came out, and it was quite helpful. Bi Day, Bi Night, more info, more personals, just plain more... and no, it's not the same Kirsten. If you're in the L.A. area, check out BiNet L.A., a nice friendly bisexual group if I ever saw one (and, hey, I did see one). The Safer Sex page... if you don't think you need it, go there quick (otherwise, check it out anyway, its stuff we all need to know). Stay alive, protect your lover(s)... Loving More: an organization focusing on polyamorous and polyfidelitous relationships. Really good info, very supportive and positive. Even if you're a die-hard monogamist, I'd recommend checking it out, just to get an understanding. Remember how I said I was published? Well, here's another link to the book I'm in - I wrote the bi chapter (all 5 pages of it). While I was tempted to just say "Treat us like human beings," I restrained myself and wrote the same sentiment, but at somewhat more length. Something cool - Queerview, an interactive magazine for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folk and other human beings. Not only is it free, but you can get published there, too! Bi-Gear is a bi-owned and run virtual store selling, well, bi gear: shirts (mostly sports-type slogans), shorts, coffee mugs, mousepads, posters and even (gasp) bi teddy bears. The site is pretty graphics-heavy and crashed my dinosaur computer's Netscape but it was fine on another one, so who knows? You could be lucky! The main reason I recommend it, though, is the really really good link list there; if you look at nothing else, please look at that! I was emailed some time ago by a member of BiCafe, asking me to add it to my page. While I have not checked it out, its self-description as they transmitted it to me is below. Have fun, let me know what you find, but remember 'caveat browser' (let the browser beware). This extensive web site is an online face-to-face meeting, education, adult entertainment, and international social support center. It aims to be the premiere interactive meeting place for bisexuals. Enjoy private chat, see classy personal photos of potential bifriends, get a personality profile using the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid. Be sure to read the editorial titled "BiCafe Free Memberships." Free to the public items include: adult member editorials, links, essays, articles, and bifriendly places. Future plans include erotic bisexual artist galleries and shopping cart for goodies! Very elegantly designed. A welcome addition to the bi web family! Or so they say ;> More suggestions from the online community... I'd appreciate any feedback on these you can give me, as I have not checked them myself. In their own words: Bi-curious men: "There's a new group of communities for bi-curious men available through the internet. All sites in the community are non-pornographic G/PG rated, discreet, safe, non-judgemental, and contain chat rooms, discussion groups, information links and special events. There are special sites devoted to guys into sports, science fiction, philosophy, outdoors, business, politics, marriage, closed-loop relationships, and more. Here's a list of the different communities. For more information, contact me." We invite you to visit the Bisexuality Forum. Its a great place for queer folks...!!!!!! I hope you like the place as much as I do!